What do I think about sex?

Note: The following message is directed to members of True Nudists. Consider this a posting that doesn’t necessarily fall into the usual continuum of postings on this site. As if any such continuum exists…

There was a time I might have been unable to utter or even write the word without wincing. Was it my mother’s influence, her fear that her children would discover too much, too soon? Was it the general milieu in which I was raised, a French-language Roman Catholic people who had been taken with Jansenism in a previous generation? Was it just the “tee-hee” sense of North American treatment of sex in general? Was it the nascent feminism that pulled no punches and was generally opposed by my milieu? I don’t know. But it took a while before I could confidently write the word and longer before I could say it.

Of course, leaving home for university and using one’s reading skills to learn on one’s own can have a liberating effect on a young person. The free market of ideas can be exhilarating. Having everything reduced to “I think, therefore I am,” throws everything into doubt and reality is reconstructed one step at a time.

So it was for sex. In fact, my intake and evaluation of information on sex continued well beyond my university years. Everything was receivable and debatable, whether in books, newspapers, radio, TV, etc. I loved documentaries and talk shows à la Phil Donahue. At the time, sex included nudity, something that would change when I discovered the World Guide to Nude Beaches and Recreation, followed by Clothed With The Sun.

Then came the Internet. All of a sudden, it was possible to find information – some of it reliable – on just about anything. The concepts of swinging, polyamoury and “third-wave feminism” were explored. While I have no regrets at all regarding the life path I have chosen, I sometimes wonder how that knowledge would have affected me way back when. I mean, I continue to be astounded that some people can actually not feel jealous when their spouse is having sex with someone else, sometimes with everyone in the same room. Yet, it happens. If my wife had been interested, maybe we would have explored that. If I hadn’t met my wife yet, I might have explored it further!

And there are all the shapes sex can take, from the missionary position to sixty-nining to alternate lifestyles. There is the truth about prostitution as told by the sex workers themselves rather than the academics who think they have all the answers. There is the constantly evolving definition of pornography, whether it applies to all nude pictures or just those that actually show a sex act, and in what context.

Are you astounded that I would show such curiosity and possibly approval for such things? If you have been following my postings on True Nudists, you could be forgiven for that. I believe everything I have written there. Despite my rather liberal opinions on sex and seeing to the rights of consenting adults to engage in whatever consensual acts are agreed to, I tend to subsume that in my postings to True Nudists for the simple reason that ALL MEMBERS are expected to AVOID sexually suggestive topics. Why? Because nudism is not the same thing as sex, and the misinformation concerning nudism and sex is still prevalent in 2010. We must present correct information to the uninitiated and, especially, we must offer to members an atmosphere that truly reflects nudism.

I have done my best to follow the rule in this regard. I have also taken part in pointing out the people who don’t follow the rules. In some cases, it is blatant. In others, it starts innocently enough and slips into something potentially objectionable. The hardest part when the person is merely expressing his or her sincerely held opinion on something. Should that person be called to account or should I just let it go?

After all, we have all been asked to help police this site by flagging those who will not play by the rules. Indeed, it is one of the reasons I started this blog so I could express myself without having to self-censor my writings to too great a degree.

In the time I have spent on True Nudists, I have to come to know various people from various walks of life and various outlooks on life. I can truthfully say that except for a few times where I’ve just had to agree to disagree with some, all have been congenial and true joy to talk (write) to. Among my friends and other people I have met there have been some who, while truly espousing the ideals of nudism, tend to be more – how shall I say? – “free spirited” in their approach. Some of their posts do – it could be argued – cross the line that seems to have been drawn by TT1. As a member in good standing of True Nudists I would normally be called upon to flag such postings.

In some cases, flagging come naturally. In other cases, it’s harder because the nature of the conversation seems innocent enough despite the theme discussed, or vice versa. In any other venue, such discussions might even be welcome. In fact, I tend to enjoy them! However, TT1 has decided that they shouldn’t be welcome here because this is supposed to be a site where one can explore the concept of social nudity without sexual connotations.

Unfortunately – and I’m giving the benefit of the doubt here – confusion does exist surrounding the definition of “sexually suggestive.” When a woman writes about how she fantasises about having a penis and how it must feel when a man comes, she may simply be honest about her feelings. But I would consider this to be sexually suggestive because of the very nature of the subject.

I tend to flag slowly, but I usually point things out quickly. With some, I have been biting my tongue because the theme seems innocent enough, but the postings turn into something else. A joke with a sexual theme is one thing (the jokes thread is full of them). A full dissertation on why one loves to see and touch another person’s ass is another. It would be easier if, as a member once said, the discussions could be “R” rated rather than “PG” rated, but the rules are what they are.

Therefore, I respectfully ask all my friends to exercise caution in what they decide to post. So many people call True Nudists the best nudist site on the web. It’s up to all of us to keep it that way.