A Family Affair

In all my life I have had sex with only one member of my immediate family: my spouse. I’d like to think that would be the case for the vast majority of human beings when it comes to family. However, laws and taboos are usually created for a reason.

Recently I discovered a NINO site (Naturist/Nudist in Name Only) and was surprised to discover a person whom I respected for having presented a very interesting and well-written article in a respected naturist magazine. My joy at having found her online was dashed when I later found out she was a proponent of “consensual” incest. I’m hoping that someday I’ll find out someone else stole her identity and was just pretending to be her. But the photos she posted of “herself” looked genuine enough to lead one to believe that it could only be the real McCoy.

When it comes to sex, I subscribe to the philosophy that all laws must have a genuinely secular purpose. Therefore, when I see laws prohibiting certain types of sexual activity, I tend to be suspicious of the intent of the lawmakers at the time they were passed. The only “taboo” that I continue to support unflinchingly is any type of activity where an adult takes advantage of a person who may be too young or otherwise lacking in cognitive development to truly consent fully to sexual activity. And the worst of this category is incest.

I grant that incest is not limited to sex between a parent and a child. When all parties are consenting adults, it’s harder to find a reason to apply legal sanction, at least to the same degree. But where children are involved, the rule should be clear: Adults aren’t allowed. And this is especially true where the child and the adult are related.

Parents have a responsibility toward their children. Uncles and aunts of adult age have a similar responsibility toward their nephews and nieces. I would go so far as to say all adults have a responsibility toward children, but the responsibility is greater where the family members are concerned.

I am all for openness with children when it comes to teaching about sex and discussing facts and feelings. But openness must not be confused with relinquishing one’s responsibility toward the safety and welfare of the children in our care. And I can’t see how having sex with one’s children maintains – much less enhances – their safety and welfare. I think the medical and psychiatric journals would say the opposite.

So I was surprised and saddened when this person I thought could be a role model for nudists admitted (or at least alleged) and condoned the fact that her family was incestuous. I was also disappointed that so many others at that site seemed to embrace incest as well. This does nothing to promote the naturist movement in a positive light to non-naturists.

I will continue to believe that there are certain lines that were never meant to be crossed, mainly due to issues of safety and trust. Children are entrusted to us and we are expected to live up to that responsibility.